"Good Luck? Don't need it...Never had it."
That has become the story of my life. For once I just wish things would go the way I want them to. I feel that I'm always the one who gets the shit end of the deal on everything. That's why I never have or will ever believe in luck. Hell, I could be holding a four-leafed clover, wearing a lucky rabbits foot keychain and shirt with the number 7 on it and I guarantee things would still crumble at my feet before me. It just sucks never feeling that great. I work 40+ hours a week and never get to see any of my friends. I don't really care about the money I make either because what good is it if I don't gety to spend it on something fun. No one has really called me to make any plans which sucks. And when I do finally have plans to hang out with the one I really want to see, something always seems to happen the last minute and ruin that. It kills me to look forward to that one thing and then just getting let down. But that is just my luck. I haven't had any luck with sleeping either. The last 3 days I think I only managed 3hrs hours of actual sleep, the other time is just me laying in bed with my eyes closed hopping that might actually work this time. When I actually fall asleep I don't for long because lately I have been having nightmares which is strange because I never really had nightmare since I was young, but I've been having them non-stop lately. I don't like to talk about it because it's embarrassing, I'm 22, that's to old to be losing sleep because of nightmares don't you think? I'm just really tired of all this shit that is always keeping me down. Like I said I just want things to go my way for once. Is that Really too much for me to ask? I sometimes think God really does have it in for me.