The Door

Just found a quote I think pretty much sums me up perfectly. It's a plus it's from Jim Morrison


"I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments."


I would like to think that despite how ridiculous I act sometimes I am intelligent. I mean I am doing alright in college so that has to count for something. Although being around some of the people I hang out with knocks me down on the smart scale. I feel what I lack in book smarts I make up for in common sense. Seeing people who lack that just baffles me. I'm not saying I'm better than them, I just find it strange that people have a hard time figuring out simple things.

I do think I am rather sensitive, I listen to my friends' feelings when they need some one to talk to. I am also somewhat fragile when people attack the insecurities I have about myself, comes with the low self esteem and even lower self worth I have. Although you wouldn't immediately notice since I am even better and covering up when I break down inside.

"soul of a clown" is almost dead on. All my friends usually tell me I'm funny or "you crack me up". I think that trying to be funny is one of the two thing I am good at, right next to art. I pretty much live or get wrapped up in that "clown" persona since I am always trying to make people laugh, I guess it makes me feel normal. I guess I just find it hard to connect with most people and when I make them laugh, we share a connection, and that makes thing less awkward. And it's that awkwardness or lack of connection when I am unable to make some one laugh that has caused me to miss out on a lot of things, some of which I think were very important. Keeping that persons going is one of the most difficult things I do, and I sometimes surprise myself how I mange to never break character...